화요일, 1월 09, 2007
An organised life
Listening to: H.O.T [Outside Castle] live versionFeeling: -___-Hmm by right i shld be at my gem2507 lecture now but well me, angel n cynthia decided to skip the first intro lecture after all. The notes machiam like no notes lor..all crap only. Anyway i intend to S/U it so makes no difference ba.
I am so sian again!!
Aish.
Frankly, i feel bad.
I know i aint putting 100% time n effort into my fyp even though its expected of me.
N i know its probably my fault that V dislikes me.
But its not im trying to shirk responsibility..
if she is willing to let me do more stuff, i would gladly do it.
But the fact lies that we are sharing the same project.
N frankly i dun wish to jeopardise the situation because my stupid kremen still refuses to be cloned into the next vector, n time is certainly not on my side.
So fine, i leave the decisions up to her. (since she IS the PHD student anyway)
To cut a long story short, im a hons student doing saigang everyday in the lab where lab hrs are determined by the face color of her phd student. If she's happy, i get to 'carry on' (ie. go home). If she's not..i just sit in the lab, stoning for the whole day while waiting for further saigang instructions. Well, at least nw my saigang duties just largely revolve around casting gels. -___-""
Ok, thats not the end of it.
I said she makes most of the decisions as to how the proj goes right?
Yup so naturally most of the steps n protocols are scribbled in her notes. And den..naturally again i have to get it from her sometimes. Oooohh den the famous buay song expression will flash once again on her face as she passes me the book reluctantly. This is exemplifed further especially when sometimes i cant come to the lab. N that is the worst cos i will have to ask what she has done during my absence n obviously she doesnt really fancy telling me.
I have to resort to taking peeks at her notebook when she is not around.
?!?!
I give up la.
Angel asked me why i dun flare up at her even though usually i will be defensive when im outside. Firstly, i dun really like to argue with pple unless necessary. Secondly, shes not a total stranger so usually i will just close one eye n let it pass. Thirdly, no matter how much i hate to admit, she's helping me with my fyp n i have to depend on her. Lastly, i just cant be bothered to raise my voice with her cos most of the times we are on different frequencies n we just cant see eye to eye. So in the end, she cant even get what im saying. Duh~
Call me a coward if u like, but i just want to pass my last semester in a more peaceful way.
I have enuf bad memories of nus life!!
Ok enuf complaints.
I shld view things in a more positive way huh?
Lol. Self consolation.
K lar try lar.
Life is too short to be complaining all the way. Why destroy my life for a mere fyp n V?
Ok, time to get my life on track! Anyone who second this, do tell me. Heh.
Decided even to plan a daily timetable for myself. ^^ Haha planning is always easier than getting down to abide by it. But yup, i think i will feel better if my life has less uncertainties. (heh angel will understand why we really need to have more certainties =p) N there are also a couple of things that i wanna do too..like learning my keyboard n korean properly! XD
Haha dun dismiss these 2 things as unimpt leh. They are to me.. Heh ok i can sense pple raising their eyebrows as they read this. But oh well, just treat them as a therapy from the depressing fyp ba. Especially since i already gave up my beloved salsa. =(
Ok super long post..gotta go eat lunch n be off to erm..where else..
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:16 AM